Musings over relationships and love

I’m still pondering over this

My friend was talking to me about relationships

Because I have a knack for giving great advice 

Or analysis of a situation

Afterwards he said something that hit me deeply 

He was confused to why a person like me isn’t in a relationship

That I’m such a rarity and just questioned why 

The thing is I’ve pursued relationships 

It just ends up with the guys wanting sex out of me 

And I’m really conservative over that and me ending them

It lead up to us talking about “him”

Leading to a talk of the past

And  how I let it all go about my feelings

Somehow gained them back 

And just in the state of confusion and fear when it comes to “him”

I’ve never felt so selfless and yet so selfish when it comes to a person 

Except for him

And it’s weird

Foreign, etc.

We then went on to guys of former interest 

Especially the last one I had

Because he was so special to me

And honestly at my age

To a certain point

I thought of marrying him

Running to him 

Even having his kids

Or how ever many we decided

But he fucked up (and the thing is I’ve told him)

He hurt me tremendously

With the insults

Dismissing my opinions 

And him telling me nice try 

During a suicide scare with him 

And I’m trying to forgive him 

But I just can’t

Along with where life is currently set up 

I’m content where I am 

But then my thoughts go back to him

Because he’s been only the sweetest thing to me 

And my heart just gushes 

Like don’t deserve him and all he’s done 

And then it stops

Conscience telling me to keep it going 

Don’t fall for any man 

That’s most likely going to fuck you over 

So I continue to tread 

The line between my heart and my mind

Figuring out myself  for now 

And my relationships later on.

Sometime I think back

About two specific people my heart latches to

And there’s a sense of longing

To be with them again

(Not together haha)

But…..

After the moment of tears

I hold my head higher

And hold a million watt smile

Because I always will remember want they did to me

But the need to progress and move on is so strong

My love for them is always there

saesaeseki:

I tortured myself… I should’ve found references for lighting…

But this was still a lot of fun to do :)

(via souluvadragon)

bringinglexiback:

the worst thing about online friendships is no hugs

man i wanna hug the frick outta some of you

(Source: based2pac, via souluvadragon)

vivapinatafanfiction:

i really like the way the gamecube was designed especially the handle so you could grab it and beat the shit out of your friend when they take your star in mario party from you

(via souluvadragon)

fyblackwomenart:

thejetti:

Quick self portrait.

I’m available for commission!

fiouri_10@yahoo.com

My portfolio


 : : submission : :

Forgot about my FB!

xxtrmlyunfriendlyblkhttie:

xxtrmlyunfriendlyblkhttie:

You guise(everyone) can friend me, I’ll try to be logged on more if anyone wants to talk ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100005285385150

Rebloging for the evening crowd :3

*reblogging cause she’s pretty and people should get to now her*

xxtrmlyunfriendlyblkhttie:

Whett

Oh my lord…

I wasn’t ready

Where’s my water?

xxtrmlyunfriendlyblkhttie:
thank you for always saying nice things on my pictures it always makes me smile, I honestly look forward to them ^_^ Hope your studies are going well and you're doing ok!

xxtrmlyunfriendlyblkhttie:

lovelylavenderchild:

Anytime sweetie ^_^

You’re gorgeous and to all those that are sleeping on you

They need to recognize your beauty 

And thank you 

School has been something interesting and I’m getting better 

I’ve been out of it since someone I knew died 

But I’ll eventually get better

:( :( :( I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you can come to some sort of peace within yourself, I know losing a friend is such a difficult thing to get through.

I’m honestly working on it and thank you so much hun <3

Syrian civil war 

(Source: fnhfal, via let-them-eat-cake21)

missgreeney:

ca-tsuka:

Urbance animated project is now on Kickstarter.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2088672139/urbance

Fucking finally

(via let-them-eat-cake21)

thagoodthings:

redsuns-n-orangemoons:

susemoji:

stantler:

strongblackbrotha:

Put this on your blog. Our Queens are perfection.

no offense but im pretty sure the jews have them beat….. by a lot.

JEWS ARE NOT A RACE

the idiot who posted that nonsense has deleted their blog, but for anyone with doubts.

Within each racial/ethnic group, women earned the majority of degrees at all levels in 2009–10. For example, among U.S. residents, Black females earned 68 percent of associate’s degrees, 66 percent of bachelor’s degrees, 71 percent of master’s degrees, and 65 percent of all doctor’s degrees awarded to Black students.”

as you can see black women earn the majority of degrees by proportion, making us the most educated group in america.

kiss our black asses. 

brought to you by the National Center for Education Statistics.

Yes boo!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Source: letstlkabtus, via let-them-eat-cake21)

thatisnotahat:

I’ve been watching this for 5 minutes and giggling like an idiot.

(via let-them-eat-cake21)